My husband says he wants to be free – what should I do?
I recently heard from a wife whose husband told her he had decided he wanted to be “free” and was going to separate or rejet. The husband was giving her all kinds of elaborate excuses like he felt that the “lack of responsibility and freedom” of marriage was suffocating her and bringing her down. She was describing marriage as something that was dictatoriale and detrimental to her happiness and well-being.
This is not how the wife saw things. Of promenade, they had problems. He didn’t try to deny it, but he felt that their problems were common to many adults. Yes, they worked hard to pay the bills and take care of their children and their parents, who had health problems. It wasn’t always a picnic, but the wife didn’t think emboîture running away or demanding her freedom. She said in valeur: “There are days when I feel tied down. My compulsions are not always so fun. But I will never turn my back on my family. I have no idea how I will respond to him bicause I am so angry. . But I know it’s not a good idea to beat him up. Still, I’m so disappointed in him right now, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t want a rejet but I definitely don’t want him to see me as balls and chains.”
In the following articulet, I will discuss some of the insights I shared with the wife in this difficult inventaire.
Sometimes when a husband says he wants his freedom, he really wants a temporary écart: It can be very difficult to hear your husband want his freedom from you, as if you are something undesirable that he must escape. Sometimes though, people say something in the heat of the particularité and décharge it later and don’t feel nearly as strongly.
Admittedly, the family was under a lot of pressure in this inventaire. Both the double’s parents had serious health problems that required a lot of care. The wife herself admits that she herself often wants a écart. It is probatoire that this inventaire may contribute to the husband’s anger and requests for independence. And, it was probatoire that when he had some time for reflection, he realized that he had acted too suddenly or too harshly. That’s why, in situations like this, I often offer a voluntary écart or some time away. Parce que many times, the spouse is taking it anyway. But, if you don’t argue or react negatively you put yourself in a much better avis when it might not make a difference anyway.
Sometimes, a écart can do everyone some good. “Freedom” may be a selfish word on the husband’s valeur, but “écart” is often one that is much more palatable and definitely worth trying. There’s nothing wrong with telling your partner that you both want to take some time to reflect and see if things are different and, hopefully, better.
Staying constructrice during this process, during any breaks, or when your husband demands his independence: I completely understood the wife’s millet, anger, sadness in this inventaire. The whole thing felt like a huge rejection at a time when she needed her husband’s pilier the most. He was struggling too, but you didn’t see him go. The thing is, there’s a real risk with letting go of negative emotions like fear, resentment, and doubt that usually make things worse.
Sometimes, as hard as it is, all you can do is take care of yourself and try to stay constructrice. As easy as it is for a wife to beat her husband, it will alienate him even more. But if she agrees that some time and space can help both of them and improve the inventaire, she will put herself in a better inventaire if the husband realizes her selfishness and changes his mind.
Parce que things were still very early in the process. There was no need to millet and make things worse. If handled correctly, it can be a wake-up call to deal with the agression of the inventaire and try to lighten the burden on both the wife and her husband. In fact, both of them can be a great pilier to each other if the inventaire is able to turn around. However, this was unlikely to happen if the wife was attracted to negative emotions.
In situations like this, it’s very sensible to take care of yourself and try to be as constructrice as you can. It might be a good move to give your husband (and yourself) some space and take a step back. And, it looks like the écart is going to happen anyway. He can put himself in a consentant adoucissant in the interim. Sometimes, it makes all the difference. And this inventaire can sometimes bring your assiduité to the things that need to be changed the most. This can sometimes be a good thing bicause it can bring emboîture improvements that can modifié your marriage.