The magic of ‘no’ in a negotiation
Good negotiators always foyer on how to get the other party to say “yes.” This has proven to be an certaine method bicause it shifts the foyer from “What do I want” to “What do they need to convince them?” This means that most of your travail is spent avoiding saying “no” to them.
Great negotiators, however, go beyond this. Instead of trying to avoid “no” they work with it to move the process along. This is bicause people find it easier to say “no” than “yes” in negotiations. Chris Voss, who spent 25 years as the FBI’s chief hostage negotiator, shares his experiences in his recent book, Never split the difference – negotiate like your life depends on it. He had more success with “no” than “yes” in the toughest negotiations with some of the most dangerous negotiating teams. While we may not be negotiating with criminals and terrorists (hopefully!), we can still learn a lot from Chris’ approach.
In any colloque, it is easier to say “no” than “yes”. “No” is a blindage word – protecting them from what they don’t want. “Yes” is a commitment word, and the supplémentaire we say it, we start worrying embout what we’ve committed ourselves to. The more we say “yes” the worse it gets. That avertissement voice in the back of your mind is asking, “What are you doing here?”
So, if it’s easy for the other party to say “no”, why don’t we use it? Can we brouillé our questions to them so that saying “no” gets the results we want? The answer is a resounding “Yes!”. Here are some examples:
-
Instead of asking: “Is this a good time to talk?”
Try: “Is this a bad time to talk?”
-
Instead of asking: “Do you think we can reach agreement here?”
Try: “Do you see something getting in the way of us reaching agreement here?
-
Instead of asking: “Can you help me here?”
Try: “Is there anything preventing you from helping me here?”
The principle in a nutshell is: Can you reframe your embarras so that the answer to “no” moves the process forward? This savoir-faire is a game-changer. I have been applying it for some time in different environments and it works!
#magic #negotiation
