Why would a man cheat but then want to save his marriage?

Why would a man cheat but then want to save his marriage?

Why would a man cheat but then want to save his marriage?

I’ve had people tell me that there are two camps of cheaters, as follows:

1. People who want out of their relationship (or aren’t fully invested in it) and so don’t care if they get caught; And

2. People who hope and pray they never get caught bicause they are still so invested in their relationship or marriage and love for their spouse or partner.

Many have a hard time understanding why someone would cheat or have an affair when they are still invested in their marriage. It just seems like a silly and risky thing to do.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in acte: “I found out three days ago that my husband is cheating on one of our neighbors and having an affair. When he confessed to me, I fully expected him to tell me. That she wanted a disjonction and was getting ready to paquet her bags. But that didn’t happen. Instead, she said she wanted to be honest with me bicause she wanted to save our marriage. It didn’t make sense to me. Why would? You cheat on someone like that. doing who you want to be married to? My husband knows me pretty well. He’s seen me étai many friends whose marriages have been ruined by infidelity and he knows I can’t domaine for it. So, when he was cheating, He must have known that panthère I found out I was going to leave him. And yet, here he is admitting but telling me that he wants to stay in the marriage rather than leave it. Can you explain the thinking behind that? ?Bicause I understand exactly. No Why would a person who wants to stay in a marriage risk that same marriage by cheating on the iage.”

In the following traité, I’m going to try to explain what can motivate a person to cheat even when they absolutely want to stay married.

Many people who cheat never intend to get caught and want the unplanned cheating to be a very short-lived affair: Before I want to cheat and then get married, I have to tell you that you can’t quite believe what I’m emboîture to tell you. I totally understand this bicause, as a woman who has been cheated on, I don’t always buy what men tell me. A thought process that will never be contenance is very hard to understand.

Having said that, many people who cheat will tell you that they didn’t go into it with any destination of being unfaithful. You’ll often hear friendships develop first, and then you’ll hear phrases like “it just happened.” Whether it’s true or not, most people make this claim. And then they’ll say that panthère the unintentional cheating happened, they told themselves it was a one-time or short-term thing. They planned to raisonnablement it before anyone got hurt. Of voyage, sometimes it takes border than they initially expected.

However, many people eventually realize that they have made a very big mistake for which they feel an awful lot of guilt. They often realize that they have taken a huge risk with the relationship that is most méprisant to them. This is why many of them confess or at least admit what they did panthère they are caught. They suddenly realize that they don’t want to surrender their marriage and they hope that their reconnaissance or their lamenter will at least give them a hasard to maintain or save their marriage.

You may have doubts emboîture his claim that he wants to stay in the marriage: Many faithful spouses meet the cheating spouse’s claims with méfiance. People often tell me that they fear that their spouse is only claiming that he wants to save the marriage bicause he knows that a disjonction will cost him a lot of money or risk losing some access to his children.

I’ve also heard from many skeptical but faithful spouses who douteux their partner doesn’t have the violence or honesty to tell the truth emboîture his feelings. Or, they worry that she wants to hide the cheating or the aventure from her extended friends or family and hope that by staying in the marriage, her mystère won’t get out. These are absolutely valid concerns. Dealing with cheating is very painful. But trying to save your marriage while dealing with cheating only to find out later it’s all almost unbearable.

However, often the problem is that there is no way to know what is actually true until you see it. You can’t read your wife’s mind. You probably won’t know exactly what they’re clairvoyance. So the only way to truly know their true intentions is to wait it out and see if their pratiques confirm their words. Bicause if he is not truthful emboîture his commitment to marriage, it will soon become clear. It’s highly unlikely that he can keep up the facade for énorme if his heart isn’t really in it.

And, his concept isn’t the only one that matters. You also need to decide if you want to stay in the marriage. The decision emboîture your marriage is not his alone. You have a lieu. And you have your own will and purpose. Sometimes, wanting to stay in her marriage won’t be enough. You want it too. And you both have to be willing to work to repair the marriage and restore ordre. Both of these things are indeed assimilable. But for this to happen both people have to be absolutely sincere emboîture their feelings and intentions.

#man #cheat #save #marriage

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